Not that today’s politics aren’t parody-worthy, but I haven’t gotten around to dealing with the current crop of candidates yet.\u00a0 While I mull over the many possibilities, here’s one from years gone by.\u00a0 And it was written well before the man in question really did get “voted out in two,” so chalk up a good prediction.\u00a0 \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n
Newt’s Mama Speaks Out<\/strong><\/p>\n to the tune of “Officer Kruppke” (West Side Story)<\/p>\n Dear kindly Mrs. Gingrich, Dear Mrs. Maury Povich, Dear kindly Mrs. Clinton, Dear kindly Mrs. Gingrich, Not that today’s politics aren’t parody-worthy, but I haven’t gotten around to dealing with the current crop of candidates yet.\u00a0 While I mull over the many possibilities, here’s one from years gone by.\u00a0 And it was written well before the … Continue reading
\nYou talked to Connie Chung,
\nShe caught you whisper-ing “bitch”
\nSo now your boy gets hung.
\nYour precious cherub darling
\nNow screams that he’s been had;
\nGolly whiskers, Newtie Poo was mad.
\nBut dear Mrs. Gingrich,
\nIt’s really OK,
\nWe wouldn’t want you saying things that Newt wouldn’t say.
\nBut don’t let him tell you you misunderstood,
\nJust let him take the heat but good.
\nTake the heat but good, ’cause he’s bad, not good,
\nSo let him take the heat but good.<\/p>\n
\nBeware a Newt surprise.
\nDon’t let him tell you “no bitch,”
\n‘Cause if he does, he lies.
\nYou know he can’t deny it,
\nHis mama told you true,
\nHoly smokers, what’s a Newt to do?
\nBut dear Mrs. Povich,
\nYou’ve got it on tape,
\nSo never mind the sights and sounds of Newt going ape.
\nAnd don’t let him tell you you misunderstood,
\nJust let him take the heat but good.
\nTake the heat but good, he deserves it good,
\nSo let him take the heat but good.<\/p>\n
\nThe Newt called you a name,
\nAnd now the Newt is hintin’
\nThat Connie gets the blame.
\nHe says it’s off the record,
\nHe says his mom was tricked,
\nWhoopee cushions, Newtie Poo is ticked!
\nBut dear Mrs. Clinton, hang onto your poise,
\nThe country will learn soon enough that Newt’s fulla noise.
\nHis contract is bogus,
\nHis head’s full of glue,
\nAnd he’ll be voted out in two.
\nHe’ll be out in two, voted out in two,
\nSo let him rave and rant and stew.\u00a0 (Out in two!)<\/p>\n
\nWe’ve come to realize,
\nLet’s put it into English,
\nYour family takes the prize.
\nYou beat the Corleones,
\nIt’s very plain to see,
\nEwwie, gooey, what a family!
\nSo dear Mrs. Gingrich, get out while you can.
\nThe country doesn’t need the Gingrich family plan.
\nForgive us for hoping
\nYou guys are all through….
\nPlease join us in saying:\u00a0 Newt Who!<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"