Typical Infmom progression.

* Look at list of things-to-clean-before-party.

* Begin with living-room alcove full of photo storage boxes and personal tchotchkes.

* Pull everything off shelves in order to clean shelves.

* Clean shelves.

* Start putting things back.

* Go to locate earthquake-sticky-stuff, which is nowhere to be found.

* Decide, what the hell, there’s time to run over to Home Depot and buy more earthquake-sticky-stuff.

* Walk out door to go to car, discover that computer glasses are still on face, drop glasses into outsize zip pocket of new Victorinox bag.

* Decide, at Home Depot, to buy some almond gloss enamel to paint the doors in the living room, which have been half-paint-half-varnish for heaven knows how long.

* Find that locating a simple quart can of almond varnish is a far more difficult task than expected, and locating earthquake-sticky-stuff even more so.

* Pay for items via self-checkout.

* Return home.

* Discover that computer glasses have fallen out of bag at some point between home and mid-Home-Depot.

* Discover that cat has peed on kitchen rug and pooped on laundry room floor despite clean cat box with brand new litter.

* Saturate kitchen rug with Nature’s Miracle. Put on washing machine.

* Walk back in kitchen and step in residual Nature’s Miracle on floor in bare feet.

* Stick items to shelf in alcove. Return photo storage boxes to their shelf.

* Shove all other residual items from alcove into Trader Joe’s bag to be dealt with later. (this is the Official InfFamily Method of dealing with Extra Stuff)

* Notice that we don’t have enough plates to eat dinner on, and the floor in front of the sink where the rug was is still damp.

* When F’zer calls to announce he’s on the way home, suggest going OUT to dinner.

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