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Tea Party Prototypes Tea Party Prototypes

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Tea Party prototypes

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Tea Party Prototypes, or TPPs, through the ages.

Neolithic TPP:

  • Basket? No way. I’ve got hands. Keep the change.
  • Horse? Are you crazy? If we were meant to get around on four legs we’d have been born that way. Keep the change.

Bronze age TPP:

  • Stone tools are way better. I can make them myself. Keep the change.

Iron age TPP:

  • Bronze tools were good enough for my grandfather and they’re plenty good for me. Keep the change.
  • If that long-haired preacher and his pack of losers think I’m going to change my religion, they’ve got another think coming. They can keep the change.

Renaissance TPP:

  • The sun goes around the earth. God said so. Galileo, you’re in deep sewage.

Industrial Revolution TPP:

  • I can make those things better by hand. Get that factory out of my town. Keep the change.
  • I am not riding on that infernal machine. I’ve got my own two feet. Keep the change.
Revolutionary TPP:
  • That Patrick Henry is nothing but a wild-eyed community organizer. God Save the King!
  • Our Colonial government is just fine the way it is. God Save the King!
Civil War TPP:
  • States rights!
Mid 19th century TPP:
  • Charles Darwin is crazy. The Bible tells me ALL I need to know, and that settles it.
  • No, women do not need to vote, and anyone who says they do is a harridan. Keep the change.
Gilded Age TPP:
  • The public be damned!
  • Birth control is against the law and that’s that. Keep the change.
2oth century TPP:
  • I’m voting for Hoover!
  • I’m voting for Landon!
  • I’m voting for Willkie!
  • I’m voting for Dewey!
  • There are communists in the State Department and fluoride in the water!
  • Love it or leave it!
  • Nixon’s the One!
  • Whitewater! Travelgate! Impeach!
….yeah, there’s an age old pattern. Keep the change.
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Author: infmom

Otherwise known as Infamous Mom.

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