Letters From Home

Life looks at infmom / infmom looks at life

May 19, 2008
by infmom
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summertime summertime sum sum summertime

California weather is weird, as if anyone didn’t know that by now. Usually the months that are considered “summer” in other parts of the country aren’t all that summery around here, and we get killed by the heat in September and October.

There’s usually one big heat wave in May, too, and we’re “enjoying” that right now.  It’s been in thePlease no.
102-104 range in the back yard for several days.

Our house is not air conditioned.  It was built in 1930.  Having a home of this vintage would not normally be a barrier to having air conditioning, except that some demented former owner took out most of the wood framed doublehung windows circa 1960 and replaced them with aluminum framed jalousies.  Maybe when these windows were new they fit tight and made sense, but at this late date…  fageddaboudit.

The house has thick walls, so if we pull cool air in all night with every fan we’ve got and then close the windows before it gets much past 70 the next morning, it stays reasonably cool inside.  And by the time the interior temperature starts edging up into the “uncomfortably warm” range, the exterior temperature is almost always on the way down.

I have to admit, though, that this year I wasn’t prepared for the hot weather to hit quite so early.  I did fine in the heat when I was a kid (in central Virginia a kid didn’t have much choice, and I had an air conditioned classroom only once in my entire educational career–one lonely college class).  But now that I am granny age I have less patience with and tolerance for hot weather.  I lack energy during the day and don’t sleep well at night.

All of which makes my desire to move to New Mexico or Arizona all the more quixotic, I suppose, but when we move out of here we can always choose an adequately heated and cooled house.

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May 14, 2008
by infmom
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yesterday is where it’s at

I often joke that I’m The Queen of Yesterday’s Technology.  Oh, I keep my eye on what’s new and I pay attention to the gadgets I think it would be great to have.commodore PET

Then I wait till a newer model comes out and everyone’s dumping the old ones.  That’s how I got my first laser printer (waited till Epson came out with a new model and then I bought their former top of the line) and my first Toshiba laptop (actually, in that case I waited six years to buy a formerly top of the line model) and my first iPod (a refurbished first-gen nano) and my second iPod (a “broken” 4th gen that I bought on eBay and fixed) and my third (a “broken” fifth-gen ditto).

My philosophy is that just because something’s been replaced by a newer model doesn’t mean that the original is any less good.  The quality is still there.  It’s just that there’s a flashier one that attracts people’s attention, so the price of the old one finally goes down to where I feel it’s a good investment.

Now, I’ve been called Mesozoic and worse, by the gotta-have-it folks who think I’m forever burdening myself with second best.  But, like I said, I keep up with what’s good and what’s new and that includes keeping an eye on the whizbang stuff that turns out to be more like whizzfizzle.  So, when comes time for me to buy whatever-it-is, I know it’s already tried and true.

Plus there are lots of instructions out there on the web explaining how to get around idiosyncracies and hardware glitches and so forth.

What inspired this particular rumination?  Fixing the lid latch on my Titanium Powerbook G4 and then downloading an episode of “Rome” to be played on my newly fixed iPod.

Life is good.

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May 10, 2008
by infmom
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RTFM

(No, that’s not me in the picture, I just found it appropriate)

I always like to read the directions.  I’m weird that way.   To me, it’s a lot easier to use some new gizmo or
software if I’ve already read through the instructions before I begin.  This is why I love printed manuals and loathe help files.  If something I’m trying to learn only comes with a manual in electronic form, I almost always print it out so I can read it more efficiently.  Help files are rarely as helpful as they need to be.

But sometimes even the printed manual doesn’t tell you enough.

Yesterday I spotted something that I wanted to take a picture of, using my fairly-recently-acquired camera phone.  I duly pressed the button and looked at the screen and realized that if the picture was going to be useful at all, I would have to zoom in on the subject (which was across the street).  However, no way could I discover how to zoom in.  Grrr.

So I went home and dug out the manual, and lo and behold it didn’t tell me how to zoom in either!  It wasn’t till I got through a couple layers of FAQs on the manufacturer’s web site that I found out that you can’t zoom with the default resolution on the camera phone.  You have to switch to a lower resolution.

This is doubly annoying because the default settings disable a very useful feature AND the manual doesn’t tell you so.

I used to write software manuals that translated programmer-ese into English.  I think this is why I have little patience with instructions that are non-instructional.  Thbft.

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May 4, 2008
by infmom
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the simple life for me!

So, the battery on my trusty Palm Zire 31 is slowly giving up the ghost.Palm on palm

I bought a new battery for it before I took it apart. If I’d taken it apart first I would have seen that the battery leads are soldered in. While I certainly have the skills to unsolder and resolder a battery, what I don’t have is any inclination to do it. 🙂

So I guess it is time for me to think seriously about replacing the Zire before the battery bites the dust for good (I get about 30 minutes out of it now). I want to stick with Palm, both for ease of use and for ease of data transfer. I don’t need a lot of bells and whistles (as is evidenced by my long-time satisfaction with the Zire 31 and the fact that the Palm Centro is the only smartphone that has ever gotten a second look from me). I’m sure there are PDA features that I don’t now have that I will love when I get them, but truthfully other than a larger screen I can’t think of any right now.

And, of course, I have the family budget to consider. As always.

So what should I be looking at?

Cross-posted with my LiveJournal to try to capture a wider audience.

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May 2, 2008
by infmom
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political song parodies

Not that today’s politics aren’t parody-worthy, but I haven’t gotten around to dealing with the current crop of candidates yet.  While I mull over the many possibilities, here’s one from years gone by.  And it was written well before the man in question really did get “voted out in two,” so chalk up a good prediction.  🙂

Newt’s Mama Speaks Out

to the tune of “Officer Kruppke” (West Side Story)

Dear kindly Mrs. Gingrich,
You talked to Connie Chung,
She caught you whisper-ing “bitch”
So now your boy gets hung.
Your precious cherub darling
Now screams that he’s been had;
Golly whiskers, Newtie Poo was mad.
But dear Mrs. Gingrich,
It’s really OK,
We wouldn’t want you saying things that Newt wouldn’t say.
But don’t let him tell you you misunderstood,
Just let him take the heat but good.
Take the heat but good, ’cause he’s bad, not good,
So let him take the heat but good.

Dear Mrs. Maury Povich,
Beware a Newt surprise.
Don’t let him tell you “no bitch,”
‘Cause if he does, he lies.
You know he can’t deny it,
His mama told you true,
Holy smokers, what’s a Newt to do?
But dear Mrs. Povich,
You’ve got it on tape,
So never mind the sights and sounds of Newt going ape.
And don’t let him tell you you misunderstood,
Just let him take the heat but good.
Take the heat but good, he deserves it good,
So let him take the heat but good.

Dear kindly Mrs. Clinton,
The Newt called you a name,
And now the Newt is hintin’
That Connie gets the blame.
He says it’s off the record,
He says his mom was tricked,
Whoopee cushions, Newtie Poo is ticked!
But dear Mrs. Clinton, hang onto your poise,
The country will learn soon enough that Newt’s fulla noise.
His contract is bogus,
His head’s full of glue,
And he’ll be voted out in two.
He’ll be out in two, voted out in two,
So let him rave and rant and stew.  (Out in two!)

Dear kindly Mrs. Gingrich,
We’ve come to realize,
Let’s put it into English,
Your family takes the prize.
You beat the Corleones,
It’s very plain to see,
Ewwie, gooey, what a family!
So dear Mrs. Gingrich, get out while you can.
The country doesn’t need the Gingrich family plan.
Forgive us for hoping
You guys are all through….
Please join us in saying:  Newt Who!

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April 30, 2008
by infmom
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sing, sing a song…

Years ago, I hung out online with a very creative group of people in CompuServe’s Science Fiction Forum. One of the things we loved doing was writing song parodies. I found that was something I enjoyed a lot and I think I was pretty good at it.

While I haven’t done it as much recently as in the past, it’s still something I enjoy. My most recent full-length parody was in honor of the show “Dirty Jobs.” I’m going to post a few of my efforts from years gone by, over the next few days. It’s taking me a while to dig up the archives, and some of the songs apparently either never got saved, or got saved somewehere I can’t find. Oh, to have Lotus Magellan back again!

But I’ll do my best. Hope my readers get at least a chuckle out of these.

The Unofficial Dirty Jobs Song

(to the tune of “I Will Survive”)

At first I was so clean, I was sanitized,
As dinner plates my floors were oh so very highly prized.
But then I spent so many nights watchin’ Mike Rowe on TV
I changed my mind, and I thought dirt’s the way to be.
But he’s not here, not at my door,
He’s chasing catfish round the pond and grabbing gators off the floor.
I should have cleaned up all that poo, I should have kissed that owl goodbye.
If Discovery’s not here soon the smell will make me puke and die.
Help me please, can’t find the door
Got piles of filthy turkey feathers sliding slowly to the floor.
Where can I go to learn to feel a cow’s behind?
It looked so easy, I’m sure the cow wouldn’t mind.
Oh someone please, please call DC,
I’d post a message on the board if I could only see.
I’ve got such a filthy place, don’t need egg upon my face,
Please call DC, please call DC, hey hey!

I bought all the Mr. Clean at the corner store,
I went through every single Swiffer and sent out for more.
And I used oh so many sponges cleaning up that pile of poo,
It made me heave, and now my landlord said to leave.
And here I am, out on the street,
I’m not that dirt-encrusted fan who thought that filth was neat.
And so my cell phone gave a ring and it was someone from DC,
Who said that Mike the Dirty Jobs guy would be coming after me.
Help me please, I’m on the floor.
There’s not a cow flop on my back bumper any more.
Where can I go to get my Dirty Jobs degree
Who do I thank, for pointing Mike Rowe to me?
Oh someone please, please call DC,
I’d post a message on the board if I could only see.
I had such a filthy place, now I’ve got egg upon my face,
Please call DC, please call DC…….

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April 24, 2008
by infmom
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Casting a favorite book

A lot of people have put up YouTube videos with their suggestions of actors to play the characters in Diana Gabaldon’s Outlander books, should they ever be made into a miniseries or movie. (I think the one that included Robert Sean Leonard as Frank and Black Jack Fraser was rather inspired.) I’ve never really thought about finding actors to represent my mental pictures of book characters. But if I were to get started, I’d go for a real true dream cast, for one of my other favorite book series.

Nero Wolfe

Archie Goodwin

Saul Panzer

Fred Durkin

Orrie Cather

Fritz Brenner Fritz Brenner

Inspector Cramer (on the right)

Purley Stebbins Purley Stebbins

and….

Lily Rowan Lily Rowan

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April 21, 2008
by infmom
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carry on my wayward… what?

So, I’m still fiddling around with Vista.

It is nowhere near as annoying as I feared it would be, but it’s just another iteration of Microsoft’s “You are too stupid to figure anything out for yourself” mind-set, and therefore falls all over itself trying to protect the user from ever having to oh, actually think.

I’ve shut off as many of those annoyances as I can, but I still haven’t been able to create new user accounts that work. I ran into a problem with Office 2000 (not enough memory, my ass) but found a workaround. Adobe 8 didn’t want to install itself right away, but Vista sent it out for updates and then it worked fine.

I have had no problems with installing anything so far, either from my own disks or downloaded. Of course, I haven’t had time to put it to any really extensive tests.

I can’t see any reason why anyone would want to run right out and buy this, but then again I never figured out why so many suck uh, people wanted to stand in line for Windows 95, either.

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April 20, 2008
by infmom
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collection agencies can bite my butt.

I have had many, many opportunities to be rude to bill collectors over the years.  Way too many, in my estimation.leeches

And not once has a bill collector been calling for me (this household has never attracted the attention of bill collectors and as long as I have anything to say about it, it never will).  It’s either one of my relatives or else it’s a wrong number.

One of our phone lines is listed under a name that does not actually belong to anyone in the household (perfectly legal to do this, btw).  It’s an initial and a last name with no address.  Funny how many people with that first initial and last name are deadbeats, and funny how the collection agencies go trolling through the phone book and insist the deadbeat gave them the number.  Yeah, and if I believe that they’ve got a great line of credit they can sell me.

I just dealt with another one of those dirtbags and told her quite firmly that this number did not belong to anyone on her list and the calls had better stop, pronto.  But when I asked her how she got the number to begin with she said “Thank you” and hung up on me.  I think the debt collection act prohibits that kind of behavior.  I need to look it up.

I certainly don’t mind being rude to a bill collector from time to time.  I just wish I had fewer opportunities to do so.

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April 16, 2008
by infmom
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a fond farewell to my mother

I just got home from traveling to my mom’s memorial service. My mother in happier days

My brothers and I spent quite a bit of time figuring out what we would do, and despite the long-distance arrangements (two of us are in California and two are in Indiana) we managed to pull it together perfectly.

I always used to joke that my mom would show up late for her own funeral. This wasn’t a funeral, per se, because she donated her body for medical research, but the real joke is that my daughter, her girlfriend and I got caught up in the Great American Airlines Flight Cancellation Debacle and it was we who were almost late to the funeral. Mom would have gotten a huge laugh out of that.

People from all over showed up to say goodbye, including my brother’s first wife and my dad’s second wife’s sister. Some people who knew Mom from the Springbank Retreat Center drove many miles to sing at the service. The four of us all picked “Try to Remember” from the soundtrack of “The Fantasticks” as the song that would best represent Mom, but I knew that she also wanted Leon Bibb’s “Lost in the Stars” played, so I transferred that from an old record to digital format and my younger brother cleaned up the few odd crackles in it. And we all sang along with Judy Collins’ “Amazing Grace” at the end (fortunately, I could sing it an octave lower than she did).

All in all, I think it was the kind of send-off Mom would have approved of.

She died a month ago today and I still don’t really have it in my head that she’s gone.

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